Funny Teasing SMS Messages !

Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?

Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.

Do you have any Irish in you? (if no…) Would you like some? (if yes…) Want some more?

Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across
the room?

Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have
lost mine.

Excuse me, do you live around here often?

Excuse me. I’m from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I’m going to have to ask you to assume the position.

For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.

Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day.

Grab yer bag Doll…you’ve just pulled…

Greetings and salivations

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

Hello. Cupid called.He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

Hey babe…can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?

Hey babe…can you suck start a Harley?

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i’m playin cards n i’m missin the joker!!

Hey I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

Hey…somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.

Hi. Are you cute?

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

Hi. I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

I am a killer,I kill people for money…..But because you are my friend,I’ll kill you for nothing!

I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B – L – O – N – T

I am not your type … I am not inflatable.

I can sense that you’re a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils…

I think I feel like Richard Gere – I’m standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.

i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

I’d like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

If I’d had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents !

If you have no voice: SCREAM…… If you have no legs: RUN……… If you have no hope: INVENT…

If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

If you think fuck is funny fuck yourself and save the money

I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

I’m a frog but if u kiss me I’ll turn into a prince

I’m easy. Are you?

I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.

I’m good at maths, U+I=69

I’m on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

I’m sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

In case of fire read this message……………………………….I SAID IN
CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac’s.

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Is your name Gillette? …coz you’re the best a man can get.

Is your name Summer? ‘Cause you are as hot as hell.

It must be cold in here – or are you just happy to see me?

It’s not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

I’ve just moved you to the top of my ‘to do’ list.

I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.

Kill one you’re a murderer, kill 10 you’re a serial murderer, kill them all, you’re GOD.

Like the look of your crotch.

Love your neighbour, but don’t get caught.

Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything … dial my number!

My feelings for you are like the sea. ” Wild and romantic ? ” “No, they make me sick.”

Nice dress, it’d look good on my bedroom floor

Nice perfume… but do you really need to marinate in it?

No Boys! No Boys, no Sex. No Sex, no Kids. No Kids, no School. No School, no problems! Why Boys??

Of course there’s lots of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d love to catch and mount back at my place.

One chicken to an other: are you tokkin’ to me?

One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.

Read in a hospital… The psychiatrist may not be disturbed

roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn’t…

Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it bad, it still pretty darn good.

That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

There’s just one thing your eyes haven’t told me yet….you’re name.

They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:…try again…again…maybe you are just not sexy?…one more time…hey don’t force it ugly!!!

Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain’t 3.5 inches and it sure ain’t floppy.

Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?

Want to come into the garden see my big juicy tomatoes?

Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there’s nothing else like you!

Was your fathera thief ? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that
good.

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

When the apple is green and ready to pluck. When a girl is sixteen she’s ready to fuck!

Will you be my Xmas cracker? I’d really like to pull you.

Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?

Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

You are never too blond to learn !!!

You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!

You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.

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2 Responses

  1. I love your bloggo, keep it up!

  2. Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

    At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

    At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

    Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

    Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?

    Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.

    Do you have any Irish in you? (if no…) Would you like some? (if yes…) Want some more?

    Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across
    the room?

    Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

    Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have
    lost mine.

    Excuse me, do you live around here often?

    Excuse me. I’m from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I’m going to have to ask you to assume the position.

    For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.

    Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day.

    Grab yer bag Doll…you’ve just pulled…

    Greetings and salivations

    Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

    Hello. Cupid called.He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

    Hey babe…can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?

    Hey babe…can you suck start a Harley?

    Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i’m playin cards n i’m missin the joker!!

    Hey I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

    Hey…somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.

    Hi. Are you cute?

    Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

    Hi. I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

    I am a killer,I kill people for money…..But because you are my friend,I’ll kill you for nothing!

    I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B – L – O – N – T

    I am not your type … I am not inflatable.

    I can sense that you’re a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

    I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils…

    I think I feel like Richard Gere – I’m standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.

    i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

    I’d like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

    If I’d had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents !

    If you have no voice: SCREAM…… If you have no legs: RUN……… If you have no hope: INVENT…

    If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

    If you think fuck is funny fuck yourself and save the money

    I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

    I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

    I’m a frog but if u kiss me I’ll turn into a prince

    I’m easy. Are you?

    I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.

    I’m good at maths, U+I=69

    I’m on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

    I’m sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

    In case of fire read this message……………………………….I SAID IN
    CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!

    Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac’s.

    Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

    Is your name Gillette? …coz you’re the best a man can get.

    Is your name Summer? ‘Cause you are as hot as hell.

    It must be cold in here – or are you just happy to see me?

    It’s not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

    I’ve just moved you to the top of my ‘to do’ list.

    I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.

    Kill one you’re a murderer, kill 10 you’re a serial murderer, kill them all, you’re GOD.

    Like the look of your crotch.

    Love your neighbour, but don’t get caught.

    Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything … dial my number!

    My feelings for you are like the sea. ” Wild and romantic ? ” “No, they make me sick.”

    Nice dress, it’d look good on my bedroom floor

    Nice perfume… but do you really need to marinate in it?

    No Boys! No Boys, no Sex. No Sex, no Kids. No Kids, no School. No School, no problems! Why Boys??

    Of course there’s lots of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d love to catch and mount back at my place.

    One chicken to an other: are you tokkin’ to me?

    One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

    Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.

    Read in a hospital… The psychiatrist may not be disturbed

    roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn’t…

    Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it bad, it still pretty darn good.

    That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

    The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

    There’s just one thing your eyes haven’t told me yet….you’re name.

    They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

    This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:…try again…again…maybe you are just not sexy?…one more time…hey don’t force it ugly!!!

    Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain’t 3.5 inches and it sure ain’t floppy.

    Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?

    Want to come into the garden see my big juicy tomatoes?

    Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there’s nothing else like you!

    Was your fathera thief ? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

    Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that
    good.

    What time do you have to be back in heaven?

    When the apple is green and ready to pluck. When a girl is sixteen she’s ready to fuck!

    Will you be my Xmas cracker? I’d really like to pull you.

    Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?

    Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

    You are never too blond to learn !!!

    You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

    You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!

    You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.

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